How to have hope in impossible situations

“I have hope”.

I managed to utter, amidst a spinning and chaotic world, seemingly impossible. I must have seemed so foolish, ignorant, naive. Hadn’t I just heard everything he said, how could I whisper such words?

I was 28 weeks pregnant with our darling third child, the one I loved dearly. The One Father would use to show me His glory, His goodness. The one whom I felt moving and growing and thriving inside of me. 

The Neurosurgeon came in, he sat down, he looked at the scans and then he looked at us, and back again. I cannot imagine how difficult this must have been for him to deliver, but with a tone you use to present information from an excel spreadsheet, he proceeded to tell us everything that he had ever seen go wrong with this diagnosis, “a vegetative life if she even lives, she will likely die before birth”. 

We had waited for well over 45 minutes past our appointment time. In my spirit I kept feeling like Holy Spirit was saying to get up, to get out of there, to leave! But I kept saying, “Lord, we made this appointment, I can’t just leave”, and so we sat. I truly believed that if my husband could just meet with him he could give us some good news, some hope. Nothing could have been further from this. With every word he spoke I felt the world spin all the more, I felt sick to my stomach, I wanted to get up and leave, but I couldn’t, I was paralyzed, glued to the chair, melting under the weight of despair. The more he spoke, the more questions my husband asked, the more that I saw word curses swirling around us, not with my eyes, but with my spirit. Everything Father had spoken now being second guessed, fighting to believe, quiet my mind Lord, I cried out from within.

The Dr. finished talking, he looked straight at me, waiting for my response, and what does one even say after you’ve just received the most devastating news of your life.

All I could say were these words, “I have hope”. He looked at me and said something along the lines of, “okay, that is fair.” 

I wanted to run out among the trees! To hear my Fathers voice, to cry out for His comfort. I was so very sorry I had not listened to Holy Spirit just 30 minutes before. In that short time my eyes fought to stay on Jesus, and I was struggling and He knew it. Here an expert in this field and what He had delivered was worse than what we had heard. And he spoke with such certainty. He had her scans after all and the years of experience. 

But God had already spoken. Three times during that 30 minute appointment we would be asked to terminate her life. Could we raise a child with special needs? Had we considered the consequences of our choice to keep her? How would this affect our other children? 

I sat with Father in a puddle of tears. Allowing His love and comfort to wash over me. He saw all of my fears. All of my nakedness before Him. Nothing is hidden from God. Everything is laid open before Him. He sees it all, He knows it all. 

He is the kindest One I know. In all my life, out of everyone I have ever encountered, in the depths of despair and humiliation, death, confusion. I have never known anyone who knows me the best and yet loves me the most. 

He loves us more. He sees the ugliest parts of us, and still He says, “come to me, come to me, I will wash you new. I am not afraid of your shame, your despair, your insecurities, they are ever before me, come to me, all of you who are weak and laden with heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest. 

He has rest for us. In every season, in every moment, He has rest. 

He wants our striving to cease. Our desire to be seen. To be known. He wants it to stop.

Sister, we are known by The One who knit us together in our mother’s wombs. This is enough. 

I am convinced that this single act of faith, “I have hope”, a faith that was given to me by my Father shook the gates of hell itself. I would not be moved. No matter what it cost me. No matter what I had to walk through. No matter how much worse the news could get, and it would. I would not end her life. I would fight for her. Not because I processed a super power, not because I am strong and mighty, not because I can stand on my own, and not because I knew how it all would end, but because I had tasted of Gods goodness, and He would be my strength! He would be my hope. 

He was revealing to me, hand in hand, my ear to His chest, how to hope for what I cannot see. How to believe when everything says, “you’re going crazy, God didn’t say that to you”. 

When we are not enough. Christ’ sufficiency is! His sacrifice accomplished what we never could! He bought and brought us back to Himself! 

The uttered words of a faith deep down. Father when we cannot see it, help us to believe it. WHISPER if you must, but proclaim with me, He is good. We will see this to be true. As His faithfulness unfolds in our lives, like the tightest closed bulb at the beginning of spring, unfurling into majesty, proclaiming His goodness, the created calling back to Him who has made her.

Am I lovely, do you see me? Will my thorns keep you away Lord? Will my pain cause you to distance yourself from me because it is ugly, and who wants to behold ugliness? But God, only The Lord, He beholds it all, unashamed and unafraid. I think of the woman who was caught in the act of adultery, the guilt, shame and condemnation she must have felt, all of her ugliness for all to see, on display. Each spectator ready to stone her. This woman precious in the sight of God. Father saw her sin, he saw a daughter, his little girl, broken, longing for love, to be loved, to be cared for. We do not understand the intricacies of everything in her life that led her to this place of adultery, but Father does. He never once excused her sin, but He still looked on with love, “daughter go and sin no more.” Her accusers, felt justified, The Lord Jesus, “He who is without sin, cast the first stone, one by one, oldest to youngest they dropped their stones, stones of fury and righteous indignation they felt justified and in their culture they would have been, but Christ came to make all things new. He would bear in HIMSELF the penalty of her sin and yours and mine. For love. 

He sees the little broken girl, who desires to get it right. Who just wants to live at peace among the flowers, away from the chaos and the noise, the mess and the ugliness. 

He invites us to dwell with Him. He sees our sin, but it doesn’t stop Him, He invites us to enter in, into the Holy of Holies, secret, sacred places for HIS Names sake, that we would take on the righteousness of Christ alone as our covering, available through the purifying blood of His Son Jesus Christ, granting us right standing with Him, forever, that we may come out looking more like His son. This is the whole of our lives, being transformed into the image of His Son. 

While there is work yet to be done. Father says, forever on this side of Heaven and the next “Christ in us the hope of Glory”. Here in the earth, working out in us a weight of glory far beyond anything we could think ask or even imagine. 

His word says, only stay, stay rooted in Him. When life whispers He is cruel, whisper back, He cares, and ask Him to show you how He has been faithful to you. 

Sister, I know that He has been faithful and that He will continue to be, even amidst pain and loss, and brokenness. 

Romans 8:32 Father had freely given us His Son, how will He and Jesus now together not give us all things that align according to His will?!” They will. 

“He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?”

The lie from the beginning has always been, “God is holding out on you. He isn’t telling you the whole truth.” 

Sister, we cannot contain what only Father alone can behold and carry. We are held and sustained in Him. A life apart from the vine is no life at all. Truly the branch cannot provide nourishment on its own. A branch broken off, left to the concrete will die. Only in the vine can we live. 

The pruning away Father does in us is for our good. Do not despise the hardship. We cannot know The Lords comfort, His real tangible comfort outside of a place of need. 

“Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.”

In our suffering. Our mourning. We will be met with His comfort and compassion. 

We will reap a harvest if we do not give up! Do not give up! The enemy will whisper lies.

Our Hope

My hope for us is that we will be so firmly rooted in Gods Word that like Jesus we will know His truth and it will set us free! Free from the lies, free from condemnation. Free to fully trust Him. Free indeed! 

Not to live and spend our lives on our selves, but for the One who is worthy of all of our praise. 

In this post you can read more about the beauty of singing and the powerful effects it can have in our brains! 

Months later we would get to see the reward of our labor. A faith strengthened. A confidence in a good God. A baby girl, beautiful and strong. Full of life and splendor in the eyes of her Father, and yes, even in the eyes of her Drs. Healthy enough for brain surgery. A brain surgery she would recover from and continue to grow and thrive in wisdom and in stature. 

I see my children, all five of them, and I see the kindness of a Father who never leaves us. Even in devastation, He will never leave. In Him He will continue to undo decades of pain and depths of sorrow, like the layers of a rose, unraveling us closer and closer to Himself. His desire for us all. Won’t you let Him in? He already knows. Draw closer still. 

I do not hold all the answers, but I am held by the One who does. And so are you. In this post you can see one of my favorite videos by Louie Giglio, sharing about how we are held together by God, like Colossians 1:17 tells us, He is our Hope.

I share with you, the very hope He has given me. For our good and His Names sake alone. 

Practical hope: 

Sit with The Lord. Ask Him. Ask Him to show you the areas in your life where you do not trust Him. Where you do not believe Him to be good because of the pain you have walked through. And let Him heal you, these places so desperate for Fathers touch. 

Further scripture study:

Psalms 23, proverbs 18:21, John 8:36 Romans 8, Colossians 1, Galatians 5:1

I would love to hear from you, if this message has brought you hope and encouragement would you let me know by leaving a comment. Please share with the ones you love whom you know need this message of hope. Thank you so much.

Fathers love, compassion and mercy be with you this week. May He give you the courage and the faith needed to walk out this life, He will do it. In Jesus Name, Amen.