How to keep moving forward when life is hard
Bring your lament before a loving Father who cares for you, especially when life is hard.
Lament, a passionate expression of grief or sorrow.
Did you know He bottles up our tears? It’s true.
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me besides still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his names sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies,
you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of The Lord forever.” Psalms 23
When we are walking through the darkest of days it is important that we anchor ourselves to The One who can strengthen and uphold us.
This week I lost another beloved friend. This is the second sister in Christ I have lost in a short few months.
There are people who help to shape our lives, help to draw us in and help us to be further transformed into the image of the Son of God.
Father brings people into our lives to help us to grow and to learn from one another.
This precious friend, Lesley, lived a life full of love.
She loved her family whole heartedly.
She also had a love for design.
Bringing beauty through flowers and colors was her specialty, inevitably her love for vintage, curved Victorian furniture rubbed off on me.
The year we moved into our first home in 2013, she and her family moved us in.
We had a bunch of little kids, and sister stayed until past midnight, ensuring everything got hung up exactly where we wanted it. I was so exhausted and ready for bed, but she wanted it to be perfect for us.
This is just the kind of friend she was. She saw beauty everywhere.
In recent years our playdates looked a lot more like a coffee shop date early on a Saturday morning, the one where we held each other and sobbed big tears as we prayed for our families and gave thanks to God for sustaining us through all of the violent storms of life.
Yes, Father gives good friends.
This week as I sat in my prayer closet, deeply saddened over the loss of my dear friend, these words kept replaying in my life, “How can I honor my friends life?”
“Lord, remind me of all of the beauty we shared”, and He has and is.
Love your family well, I heard.
I know that whatever Father God calls us to, He will help us to walk in.
Walking through the valley of the shadow of death
When life doesn’t make sense, and we find ourselves in a daze, I do what reminds me of the truths I know deep down, God will not forsake me.
He will not abandon my friends children, her husband. Her Mama who misses her terribly, He will be ever present, our very present hope in our time of need.
I have received the comfort and compassion of God, as I have found myself in this place of heartbreak more times than I’d like to say.
Sometimes this comfort comes in the form of peanut butter kisses from my littlest girl.
How to keep walking forward when life is full of lament:
- We go outside.
- We sit among the flowers.
- Sit in silence. Don’t hold back your tears, allow them to freely flow.
- Take up drawing. There is something so healing about drawing.
(Therapist have something that is called, “painting/play therapy” for children. I want to invite you into this practice as we continue to navigate some of lives most difficult battles.)
This week I began with a simple eye and as I continued to worship I saw I was drawing the face of Jesus. His eyes reddened from weeping with those He loves. (While this was a more advance video, I wanted to see portraits in oil pastels, this was a beautiful tutorial)
This tutorial was really great for learning the proportions, symmetry for drawing faces.
5. Play the worship songs that remind you of His faithfulness, as we listen and as we are able to, we sing it out, allowing His love to wash over us as we pour out our lament before Him.
This song ministered to my heart tonight, I pray it is a blessing to you as well.
6. A lot of deep breaths. As you breath in remind yourself of what you know to be true, as you release your breath, picture yourself resting in The Fathers arms.
7. Receive Gods comfort. His comfort my come in the form of a cookie. A friend sending you a message to tell you she loves you and is praying for you.
8. Keep reading His Word. It will sustain.
As I was resting in Fathers love and giving Him my broken heart, I received a call from a dear friend, my beloved friend who makes delicious sugar cookies and other beautiful desserts for our family, Rowena.
She said, “Do you have room for a beautiful chair, and ottoman? They have flowers and patterns, it is just beautiful…”
What she didn’t know is that weeks ago, I had asked The Lord to bring me the furniture He wanted me to add to the rooms I am decorating in our home.
What she didn’t know is that my beloved friend Lesley would have chosen that chair for her own home.
She had the most fun eclectic style, if she loved it, she had it in her home. She didn’t follow the trends, but always created a beautiful home for her family.
What she didn’t know was that this little chair and ottoman served as a tangible hug from The Lord, straight to my heart, as I was processing through her death.
An answer to prayer, “How can I honor my friends life, Lord?”
“Love your family well.”
The perfect chair to read stories in.
She loved music. The piano.
This week as I remembered her, I sat at the piano more often, reading the children’s books with the notes and letters, leaning in to learn a new skill.
These seasons of walking through tremendous heartbreak will not be wasted.
Somehow, someway, In Gods love and mercy He will see us through. He will comfort us. He will bring beauty from our ashes.
If you find yourself in a season of heartbreak, I want to invite you to visit the “Grief” tab, there are so many blog posts specific to this season.
If you have a friend walking through a dark season and you don’t know how to come alongside her, this blog post will help you.
It is my sincerest desire to give you what Father continues to give to me, breath and a living hope.
This blog post has some more ideas to help you get through this difficult season, or if you’re struggling and don’t know how to ask for help, this post is for you.
If this isn’t for you, but you have a friend who could use the encouragement, would you send this to her please?
Thank you so much for being here.
I leave you with this question, how do you want to be remembered? How we can we live with that view in mind? Ask Father, He wants to show us.
With all the love,
Yessi
