When life feels uncertain, where is my hope found?

When the very floor rips open, and life feels uncertain, where is our hope found? The last thing I expected was to receive a text message from a mutual friend that read, "her family believes she will be in the arms of our Savior soon." I couldn't believe my eyes. I didn't want to believe what I was reading. I ran into my prayer closet and began to sob. My very best friend. My friend who is closer than a sister. The precious woman who drove to my house the night my daddy had a stroke to drive me to the hospital because I was in shock.

She who sat with me in hospital waiting rooms, holding our faces, praying for our hearts. Kept my children when I went to deliver the babies. This precious woman, warrior of God had stopped answering my messages just days prior. She was now three hours away. I couldn't just hop in the car and go see her. I waited patiently. Fully believing alongside her that she would be strong enough to resume her treatments in our home town. Nothing could have prepared me for this message. This is the truth of life. Nothing truly can prepare us for the loss of a loved one. The tendency and the temptation will often become, how do I protect myself from pain?

Sister, we were made for community. We were made for one another. We were made to be knitted together in love, to one another. There are no lone rangers in the Kingdom of Heaven. And yet, the temptation to lock the doors, hide ourselves, protect our hearts at all cost from any and all pain is very real. I want to give you a word of warning I pray you will heed, when guarding your heart from pain, you don't only build walls that keep others out who could possibly hurt you, you also keep beauty and life and love out! I lived a lot of my life with one foot in and another foot out the door. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Always anticipating life to go wrong. I was riddled with anxiety and plagued with fear. Death has a way of doing this to us. The Lord desires freedom for us. Freedom from toxic thoughts that rob us of our days. Freedom to love fully. Freedom to show up in hospital rooms and coffee shop couches. Ready to love the person whom God has placed in front of us. This doesn't happen by chance. It requires intention. It requires we live a life that is submitted to God. A life that is rooted and grounded in someone who is greater than ourselves.

Who are you anchored to? Where is our hope?

Are you anchored to the One who can save our souls from the pangs of death? Acts 17:28 says, "For in Him we live and breathe and have our being..." In Him we live. In Him we breathe, the very breath that is flowing through our blood cells, the very oxygen that carries our iron to nourish the whole of who we are, that breath, flowing, filling every single body system, it all comes from Him. Our very existence is in Him. I cannot tell you how many times I have prayed and asked The Lord to draw me to Himself. Sung through a hymn. Whispered in the night. God, I am prone to wander. I am prone to doubt your goodness. I am prone to fear. I am prone to isolation. At times I am tempted to fill my days that I may not have a single moment to stop and breath and think.

Sister if this is you, I want to lean in and whisper, "He knows our frame, He remembers that we are dust." I don't know about you, but these words bring me so much comfort. When I am exhausted, when what I am experiencing feels beyond my capacity. When I feel weighed down by the cares of the world. The cares in my life, I recall, "He remembers that I am dust. He knows my frame. God send me help, I pray. I don't know what His help will look like, and I don't know when He will send it, but I know that He will and I know that it will be the help I needed. I don't have to try and muster up courage to face my day, because some moments, some days its just not in me, and then I remember, "but He gives more grace." By Faith. Through Grace. He brought us by His grace. Through faith. A faith He provided. He gave us this faith. It is He who increases our faith. He tells us it is all a gift, that none of us would boast. So why is it that now that we are grafted into the eternal promise as His daughters do we believe that we have to figure out this life all on our own? We don't!

I want these words to be a relief to you, as they are to me. I don't have to try to cheer myself up when I've had a really painfully difficult day. When my children are screaming, being unkind to each other, I guard my heart. I lean into God. I ask Him to please help me to speak words of love. To help me to not curse my children. When I say curse I literally mean this, "these rotten children, they always act this way, they'll never change..." and on and on can go the thoughts, spiraling in our minds. I make a conscious effort to guard my heart, to think about what I am thinking about. When I hear these thoughts playing in my mind, I stop, I acknowledge that there is a real war for my headspace, for my thoughts, for our souls. I understand that our fight is not against flesh and blood, and these, my children are not my enemy. Your boss, is not your enemy. The people who cut you off in traffic are not your enemy. Your spouse is not your enemy! Our fight is against invisible powers we cannot see, but they are real and can have altering effects on our everyday lives. The life of the believer is learning to gain territory in our minds, in our hearts. Believing God, not the lies inside of our heads. Learning to abide in Him.

When life feels uncertain and we wonder how we will make it out of this in one piece we have to look to the One who is greater than I.

Do not despise this trial you are walking through. Walking through a very painful diagnosis is not only life altering but can be faith shifting, faith strengthening! We have to ask ourselves, "am I seeking the counsel of God's Word, or did I make up a promise that He never actually said to me?"

"In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world." I can't tell you how many times I've tried to control my life, just a stronger grip, keep it together I would say. You can do this. I was exhausted trying to keep myself together, and chances are, you are too. Could it be we are not listening to His Word when He says, "come to me all you who are laden with heavy burdens and I will give you rest.'?

Does God really have rest for the weary? Sister, yes, He truly does. The Lord has me parked on psalms 23 for a couple of months now. Every time I would go to read my bible I would be prompted to open up that passage, to read it, to meditate it on it. Each time noting, "He makes me, to lie down, leads me, restores me, comforts me... For His Names sake..."

Sisters, when I read in John 17,

"I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word..."

I am so encouraged! The Lord Jesus Himself knew us and saw our unformed being, long before we would ever come to be and He prayed for us! He prayed that we would not be taken from the world, but that we would be protected from the adversary. That our faith would be strengthened. That we would be sanctified by Holy Spirit, His Word. Long before we ever knew we had a problem, The Lord Jesus had already prayed for us! When my heart is sad, when I am feeling overwhelmed, lonely, confused, I remind myself of what I know to be truth. The Lord gave His One and Only Son for me, to save me from destruction. He loves me. He is working in me a weight of glory that will far surpass all of this pain I am currently walking through. Yes! This is good news. This is the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. This is the truth we grab a hold of!

He will not abandon us.

In our moments of greatest need. He will not abandon us. He cannot abandon us.

He has said, "¹⁵ “Can a woman forget her nursing child,
    that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?
Even these may forget,
    yet I will not forget you.
¹⁶ Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
    your walls are continually before me." Isaiah 49:15-16 ESV

When life feels uncertain, and the fear is whispering He has forsaken you, sister, I want you to speak out these words, whisper them if you must, but let your ears hear, let your heart receive, let your brain process these words, "Behold I have engraved you on the palms of my hands..." You are ever before Him. He is not calloused to your needs. He is not hardened to your cries. The psalmist below declared, "Because He bends down to listen I will pray as long as I have breath"

Psalm 116:2-4New Living Translation

² Because he bends down to listen,
    I will pray as long as I have breath!
³ Death wrapped its ropes around me;
    the terrors of the grave^[a] overtook me.
    I saw only trouble and sorrow.
⁴ Then I called on the name of the Lord:
    “Please, Lord, save me!”

The Lord, He inclines His ear to our cries. He gives ear to our pleas for mercy. He cares deeply about us, our friends, our family. His ways truly are not our ways, and His thoughts truly are not our thoughts, and yet, we are told, "we have the mind of Christ", so I lean in, acknowledge that I am loved and I am being sustained by The One who holds all things together. We are being sustained by Him. When life feels carefree. When life is overwhelming. He is ever present. Drawing us to Himself.

Truly, He holds our very DNA together. If you have never heard Louis Giglio's talk about Melanin you are missing out, sister, I want our faith to be strengthened! Go and have a listen. In the midst of death and hardships, trials and temptations I want us to finish this race strong. Rooted, grounded and established in Him. How are we going to do that? By relying on The One who holds all things together. "He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." Everything holds together in Jesus. Sister, we are part of the everything. In Him we too will be held together. Even when life feels uncertain.

If your mind is in turmoil

Anxious, fearful thoughts plague you. If these are what fill your mind, especially after the loss of a loved one. The betrayal of a spouse or friend, I want you to receive the tangible hope of Jesus Christ. His comfort. His ever present help in your time of need. He truly is present. Call out to Him. He will answer. We don't have to pretend with Him. He already knows. He sees us. He hears us. Even the thoughts we do not speak, and the ones we feel too afraid to ask. He already knows. When everything in life changes I want your hope to be so rooted in Jesus Christ that you will not be swept away by the wind and waves. Lean in, even this faith, will be a gift from The Lord, so that we might not boast in ourselves. Sister, if you are lacking wisdom, ask Him to provide it. I know He will, because James tells us, "He gives to all without reproach..." only, lets do our best to not doubt that He will meet our needs, and when we catch ourselves doubting, confess and repent, and then like the daddy desiring healing for His son, in vulnerability and brokenness, "I believe, help my unbelief" and He will, because His love for us is so much greater then we may ever be able to tangibly understand on this side of Heaven.

I want to share with you my current favorite playlist, Ophelia Wilde has beautiful instrumentals, for when life feels busy, overwhelming and we need to receive Gods invitation to slow down, to come and rest. Esther Mui is my favorite for worship songs that proclaim Gods Word, to get it deep into our hearts. Charity Gayle has beautiful songs of hope to remind us when our loved ones leave this earth, there is beauty and new life that awaits them. While we grieve deeply the loss of the ones we love, they enter into the afterlife, with Christ, never to experience pain or loss ever again. They enter into endless praise.

Be encouraged, we truly are in good hands. Fix those beautiful eyes on Jesus, sister. I am praying for us this week. That our hope would truly be found in The One who holds us together, that our faith would be strengthened through these dark seasons and that we would not miss the mercy of God in the midst of loss, trials and tribulations. In Jesus Name, Amen.

If you were encouraged, blessed by this message, would you bless my heart and leave me a comment. Your messages really are such a gift to me, thank you for taking the time to read. It is my sincerest prayer to bring you hope for today.

Further scripture study Psalms 23, Psalms 116, John 15, John 17, Acts 17:28.

The beautiful pictures of my newborn babies were taken by our dear friend and incredible photographer, Kristen Fults.