Practical help for when my heart is overwhelmed

In some seasons of life it is very easy to grow overwhelmed. I want to share with you the practical help that is sustaining me.

I am in the midst of a very loud and chaotic season. When I am overwhelmed and I don’t have much space to think through what is even happening, I stop and take a deep breath.

Sometimes the reason for the overwhelm is obvious, other times not.

A mystery solved:

I can still remember reaching out to our dear friend Linda, our Willows occupation therapist. I couldn’t make sense of this mystery. 

Yesterday we ran the blender and our sweet girl was just fine. Today when we turned it on she screamed hysterically. I didn’t understand. 

Linda in her wisdom and kindness shared this with me, paraphrased, 

“if you’ll think of the brain’s processing ability like a cup that holds everything from the day. When our brains get overfilled this is when we experience more of those feelings of overwhelm. We had our therapy session earlier today, her brain is likely just tired and dealing with a lot from all the exercises. This is normal.” 

Her message ministered so much to my heart and got me thinking, is this the same thing that happens to our brains too? 

Some Days we have the capacity for large amounts of work, and others we don’t. This doesn’t mean there is something wrong with us. 

All it means is we are human.

We need rest. Rest is vital to ensure our brains are processing to the best of their ability. 

When our brains have had just too much for an extended period of time we can run into problems with our health. Whether that’s anxiety, constant overwhelm, processing problems, and other major illnesses.

I will not claim that these cannot exist outside of lack of rest, but I will tell you that we can compile our pain by neglecting to rest. 

Years ago our family enjoyed the show, Brain Games, I was so amazed and astounded of course, because I love the brain. 

In one of the episodes they did a test and what they found is that sleep deprivation can affect the brain much like intoxication. 

Let that sink in for a minute. 

Neglecting to give our bodies the rest that we need is like being drunk.

That’s not good, sister. 

There are seasons in life where we simply cannot help the rest we are getting, a new mama, dealing with critically ill family members, walking through grief, this is hard, and in these seasons especially it is so important we ask for help. 

If you need help learning how to ask for help, this post is for you. 

When a deep breath is vital

When I am in the midst of a difficult, overwhelming situation, I take a deep breath. I ask The Lord to please take my overwhelm away. To help me to see where this is stemming from. 

Many times the chaos that surrounds us is not our own. A child that has special needs. A spouse navigating difficulty. Workplace drama. Grocery prices that keep climbing. Taxes.

I do my best to live a calm and peaceful life. As calm as life can be with babies, toddlers, preschoolers, early school age and teenagers all at the same time. Some moments are so difficult and the overwhelm so hard.

At the height of the chaos and loud, sometimes my ears will begin to ring. Everything muffles out for a few seconds. It’s hard. This is a reality of raising little people who are learning how to navigate life, just like you and I.

In these moments I cry out to God, I know He hears us.

Because He bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath in me.

psalms 116:2

This trial will not destroy us:

Dealing with difficult people and situations is hard, but there is holy work that is happening inside of us. Beneath the surface. Beyond what we can see.

God truly is weaving a tapestry of grace for us. Gentleness. Love and wisdom will be poured out. Ask and keep asking.

The Lord does not delight in our suffering.

I know that some moments seem like they will crush us. It is in these moments where I remember the book of James, I’ve been sitting in this book for a couple of weeks.

“² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

As I meditated on the book of James this week I was struck by how often He calls me to give thanks over this difficulty I am walking through. He reminds me that in the waiting, in the process, we will gain the beautiful crown God has promised to those who love Him.

He calls us to rest in Him, to trust Him through these difficulties. God is not rejoicing in our downfall, our struggle.

Call out to God. Let’s trust that He is at work.

When I am being tempted to yell out in anger, James reminds me no one can bridle my tongue but The Lord. I call this the restraining power of the Holy Spirit. Never underestimate Gods power and love for us. For His Holy Name.

He desires for us to walk in peace, in holiness more than we even desire to at times.

When frustrations go unchecked

Sometimes we deal with frustration because of unmet expectations, some realistic and others not, only you and The Lord will know which is which.

Ask Him to help you identify the source of your frustration that if left unchecked will lead to overwhelm and roots of bitterness.

We may ask the children to work on their chores but they forget, the dishes mount, the laundry spills over. Now its a new day and here we come with more dirty laundry. More dirty dishes. Let’s not forget people need to eat.

There may be screaming, bickering with siblings, hitting, and the overwhelm goes from manageable to unbearable very quickly. 

Simple practices for dealing with overwhelm:

Shayla from Mountain Mama on Youtube really blessed my heart with this simple practice she uses in her full home with six children, “in five minutes this will pass.”

She would set a five minute timer, allowing herself the time and space to breathe. Usually by two timers the chaos had passed and calm had settled again.

As we find ourselves in uncomfortable situations that are beyond our control we have to bring them before Father and trust that as we take ownership over our own actions He will meet us here.

Please know that I understand that in seasons of grief two timers may not help, think of this time as your brain starting the day pretty full.

I go more into depth on the specific topic of grief here These tips I will share will help, but grief is complicated and not healing is not a process we can rush.

Have you ever heard yourself think, or say, “I’ll be glad when this is over”? This simple phrase puts us in a state of delayed joy. 

When I was pregnant with one of my darling girls, you can read more of her story here.

There were many times I had these thoughts, I’ll be so glad when this is over. I can’t wait for this to be over…

But The Lord leaned in close and whispered, there is peace now, in the midst of the unknown, the overwhelm, let me have the fear, the dread, the frustrations and take my joy upon you. My Presence is with you. 

yessi argabright

I now understand more clearly what He was trying to show me, in life we will always have challenges, pain, complications, upsetting situations we have no control over.

But peace and joy? Those are available now. Even in painful, overwhelming situations.

How to have peace now:

So how exactly do we have peace and joy when the children are throwing a fit, not listening, yelling at one another? Or our children with special needs are not communicating in a way we are able to help or understand?

Your co-workers are gossiping about you, making everyday feel miserable. You walk into the grocery store and shopped for 3/4 of what you normally buy and still you have to put things back.

I truly believe The Lord wants us to be able to enter into difficult situations and not get sucked into the spiral of the hard moments. He is the only One who can keep us calm when what we want to do is explode.

Some moments are so difficult that this may feel like our only response. The slamming of a door, yelling out. I am not here to shame you, the enemy does that already, but I want to invite you into a new way.

A yielded way. A way that is better. Because Father has said through His Word, if we are in Christ Jesus we now have a choice! He has paid for our freedom, for our ability to resist sin! His blood actually paid this for us. Through His blood we are free to yield to Christ.

We are not perfect. We will make many mistakes along the way, but the peace we will be able to carry will only grow as we continue to walk dependent upon God, trusting that the sins that used to overtake us will now be put to death in us.

I am not suggesting being overwhelmed is sin. Not at all, quite the opposite, this is the affect of living in a fallen broken world.

However, we have to take responsibility for our choices, what comes after the moments of overwhelm and frustration.

I want to invite you to run to Father instead. I mean literally call out to Him. Not just in the morning and at night but in the midst of the hard. The Lord desires to enter into the very heart of our days. He wants to be invited in.

When my heart is overwhelmed I cry out to God. If I am not able to step away from the situation I silently pray. If it is an issue with one of my children, I will pray out loud with and without them.

I want you to know that God truly does desire to bring us hope and healing, salvation, each and every single day, and in every moment. He wants to be our all and all.

When my mind is spiraling with all the negative thoughts, I know I can count on Him to help me. How?

Because His Word tells us in Romans 8:32, “He who did not spare His own Son but delivered Him up for us all, how will He not with Him also give us all things.”

What a promise! I needed to hear this. In the midst of trials and tribulations and everyday hard moments I need this hope. God cares. God sees. God will help.

Practical steps:

I want to share with you these practical steps that have helped me when I am overwhelmed.

Simplified:

Call out to God, He will answer. (Call out to Jeremiah 33:3)

Go for a walk. 

Step outside and take a deep breath. 

Pour yourself a cup of tea. 

Chomp sticks are so helpful alongside a banana when I’m needing a quick snack.  

Sometimes some moments are more overwhelming because we are fighting dehydration. 

Grab a drink of water. 

Our blood sugar has dropped because we’ve not had enough to eat. 

When we are proactive it’s easier to respond better. 

Get a good nights rest. 

Tips for a better nights rest.

No devices 30 minutes to 2 hours before bed. This one is hard for me as this is when I do most of my writing, after my little girls have gone to bed, but I’m trying.

I’ve done a tiny bit of research on blue light eliminating glasses, so I might invest in a pair. Have y’all tried them?

Ear plugs. Seriously, these are an amazing help. If I happen to wake up while everyone around me is snoring, its hard to get back to sleep, but with these ear plugs I’ve been able to sleep more soundly.

I have these ones.

We had two sets until one of my babies chewed up one of the loops and lost the other one.

These are even a huge help when the little ones are screaming and my brain has had all it could take.

You can still hear but the noise is softened. God’s mercy.

Sound machine/air purifier. If you get an air purifier not only will your air be cleaner it’ll also double as a sound machine.

This helps us especially when daddy’s alarms go off in the morning and the girls are still sleeping. We have three littles under 8 who still sleep in our room, some in their own tiny beds.

In our new home our room is like a Hotel Suite, we had to fill the space somehow.

Totally joking. I would much rather my tiny’s slept in their own room, but that’s not the season we are in.

Quiet soothing instrumentals. Some of my most favorite instrumentals are the classic hymns. Though recently I’ve really enjoyed listening to a man named Jacob, who plays beautifully on the piano on Youtube, you can find that here.

Pray. Pray for your mind. Your heart. The Lord tells us He has rest for His beloved. Ask Him for this daily rest.

Tips for Mamas with Little’s: 

Sometimes we can’t escape the loud. Literally.

The little ones follow us everywhere. Sometimes even the shower and definitely in the bathroom. This can be exhausting even while it is only for a season.

To have a moment to ourselves might seem like a huge ask sometimes.

As I’m able to, I send my little ones outside to play.

We live out in the country so it’s easier to do that, but even a small patch of dirt or grass can keep my girls entertained for a good hour.

Chances are they’ll grab the hose and make mud pies. In which they’ll cover themselves from head to toe. 

Mama, if you have somewhere to be, don’t let them play in the dirt pile, but if you don’t, and y’all will just be hanging out at home, let them play. 

We have creamy white floors y’all. Let me tell you, it doesn’t stay clean.

No matter how hard we try. You can see every tiny piece of dirt. This is my life. I have older teens and little toddlers, we are here for a while.

I don’t want to delay my peace and joy. 

I think of my brothers and sisters who live in Africa, Guatemala with dirt floors. I think about their joy and gratitude and this fills me with gladness.

Gratitude begets more gratitude!

The more we are thankful the less the overwhelm will grab a hold of us.

This isn’t 100% sister, but it’s pretty close.

Practicing gratitude is not just a nice thing to do, it is a command. To give thanks, always and at all times. 

The Lord knows we are prone to complaining, whining, comparing. 

He has good in store for us!! 

So this week when I found myself more overwhelmed and annoyed over the noise, I stoped and gave thanks.

I expressed my frustrations to Father and asked Him to help me to deal with the chaos in a way that is helpful for us all. 

He reminded me of this verse,

Isaiah 40:11 NIV

11 

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
    He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
    he gently leads those that have young.

He gently leads those that have young. This is exactly what I needed to hear. He will lead me gently. His love for us will not run out.

Keep holding onto His Word alongside me. He will not let go.

I pray this post blessed you. Would you let me know some of your favorite ways you deal with overwhelm in the comments?

I also want to invite you to subscribe and join my new Youtube channel.

I’ve been trying to figure out a way to get my writing in voice form, and y’all already know I love beautiful pictures, so I am super excited about The beauty God will bring to us through this little channel, an extension of this beautiful blog.

You can find Gather your sisters youtube channel here.

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I am working on the first devotional series and hope to release before the end of May! Pray for me?

Thank you so much again for being here. The Lord bless you and keep you. Grateful for you. Please continue to share with your people.

Dig deeper, James 1-5, psalms 61:2, psalms 127:2

PS: Did you notice the single Belinda rose I photographed three different times, it’s not the same picture.

Go back and see them, it is the process of blooming. This is us.

Do not despise the tiny growth sister, it is beautiful in the sight of Our Father. Big Hugs!