How to feel excited about having people over

Is it possible to feel excitement about having friends over when life feels so messy?

The myths that keep us lonely.

For years I had this belief that everything needed to be perfect.

That people were coming over only to look at my house.

To see my mess.

To tear me down. To inspect with a white glove.

To talk about me to other people.

I would stress over my home being clean.

I would quickly wash the dishes, shove laundry baskets out of sight.

All for fear of judgement.

But one day everything changed.

I didn’t have time to hide the laundry piles because my friend showed up earlier than I expected her to. She came over and smiled.

We sat on the floor, she asked if she could help me with my pile of laundry.

She told me how much nicer it is to have friends to help you with the load.

I was blown away. I was in my early 20’s. A brand new believer, learning to navigate life and the lies I had believed most of my life.

An experiment that changed my life forever:

So I started an experiment would this be true with all of my friends? I started leaving dishes in the sink on purpose, not putting on makeup even when I had plenty of time to do so.

Staying in my pajamas.

Not removing all the toys from the hallway, or counter tops.

What happened left me astonished.

These precious women were coming to see ME!

Not my mess.

They were not coming over to stare at my failures. My mistakes.

I had believed a lie for so long and it had robbed me. Robbed me of meeting my friends right where they were.

Because the truth was, they weren’t keeping up either. They too had little kids. Or were working outside the home.

Or were just struggling to keep up with all of the demands placed on them.

Overwhelmed by their own demands when they came over and saw how together I was, or I was leading them to believe, they felt discouraged they couldn’t keep up.

Confirming the lie, something was wrong with them. 

Sister, there is nothing wrong with you! 

We live in a day and age where we share the highlight reels of our lives. We only share the good parts of our lives, not the broken and ugly parts. 

I’m not saying share it all, tell it all, no, I want wisdom for us too. Not everyone is a trusted person, but some are.

Those are your safe people you can fully be yourself with. 

The people who will see you just as you are and join you for a dish washing party, these are my kind of people. 

The Lord has such good in store. I promise. Little by little I hope to encourage you to open up your homes. To let your people in. 

Dust bunnies and all.

Because life is too short to not live in community. 

I have this beautiful post on building friendships here, please go take a look if you’re struggling to find your people.

What if God is inviting you to open up your home to the Mama who keeps coming to your mind? Will you ask Him?

I want this for you. I know you want rich friendships too.

Story time:

It was the the summer of 2018. The Lord had completely hidden us for over a year. It was a season of healing and protection.

Our little darling needed occupational therapy and I was fully committed to her growth and development.

I had grown so comfortable. So at peace with being hidden.

Imagine my surprise when one spring in 2018 I heard The Lord say, “It is time to open your doors again. It’s time!”

I did not feel excited. I felt terrified. I felt vulnerable.

Wait, why? Why do you want me to open up my doors? I like it being just us.

The Lord really had to remind me how much I loved people and what a blessing I would be to the lives of the people He would bring into my life and how much these precious friends would bless me.

I feel like this is where we are many times. We are comfortable with our lives and don’t really want to disturb our lives.

We believe we are perfectly fine and not in need of friendships.

Or we’ve been burned before and hurt so we don’t want to do that again.

Sister, I understand.

Recently I asked precious ladies on Facebook, what is the biggest hindrance to you opening up your home, guess what some of the biggest hindrances were?

Fear of judgement, being a big one.

Not knowing what to feed guests.

Having a messy home.

Too small house.

But every single day we put off inviting the women The Lord has placed on our hearts, because sister, I know He has.

If He does it for me, I know He does it for you too.

Sometimes we just aren’t listening, or we hear Him or see the name flash before us and we doubt its The Lord, so we write it off.

The friendship that transformed my life:

Or it may be someone you feel really doesn’t want to get to know you, but God keeps bringing them to your mind.

Sister, pray. Lean into The Lord and obey.

I would not be where I am today were it not for a dear friend of mine whom I love dearly. This precious woman appeared to have it all together.

Two precious little girls who were the best listeners. I was a young Mama much like her, except I had a little boy who didn’t listen.

I was in one of the most difficult seasons of my life, riddled with anxiety, depression and hypoglycemia.

It was so difficult to go anywhere with him. I was embarrassed by his behavior and just knew she was judging me.

Imagine my surprise when The Lord started bringing this lady to my mind.

I kept feeling like I needed to invite her over.

I was resistant.

Flat out defiant. I said, “Lord, I don’t think this is you.

This lady doesn’t want to be my friend. She has it all together and my life is a mess Lord. I am sure she already has lots of friends. Please don’t make me invite her over.”

And on and on the conversation went for a couple of weeks. Until I finally broke down and obeyed.

I invited her over. She showed up and I felt hesitant. Nervous that what I had feared would be made true.

We chatted briefly, slowly getting to know one another. What she said next left me in shock,

Through glazed eyes she said to me,

“I have been praying for a friend.” I couldn’t believe my ears.

How long had she been praying for a friend? How long had she been fighting loneliness?

Sister, so many of us are crying out to God to bring our people. Father is bringing us to each others minds, but we refuse to listen.

Or we don’t think its God.

The Lord is not going to force us to move. He patiently waits for us.

I have lost count the number of times women have said to me, I feel so alone. I am in a new season. I need friends.

The Facebook groups of women asking for a friend. Wondering where their village is.

I promise you sister, you are not alone. God has our people.

What if you started that supper club you’ve been dreaming about starting but don’t feel sure how to go about it.

Lets chat. Send me an email or find me on Facebook and lets work together to get this dream to become a reality.

Please know that I am already praying for you.

I am trusting alongside you.

I felt this exact same way too. I had never done anything like this before. I knew God wanted me to start a supper club, but I didn’t know who to invite.

So I prayed. I asked Him to bring the women He wanted to bring into my home. He knows the pressure I feel to get it right.

So I placed it in His hands, and I trusted He would bring them.

Sister, we have to believe that He will answer our prayers, that as we faithfully seek Him, He will reveal Himself and prove Himself faithful.

I have such a passion for seeing women in community. Because when we stay alone and isolated the enemy has a much easier time tearing us down.

Causing us to walk in defeat. Discouraged.

He has convinced so many that it would be better if they just ended their lives. That no one would care or even miss them.

This breaks my heart. I can promise you, your people do care! God cares! I care.

Your life matters and there is so much beauty that is within you. There are gifts that have been placed within you. An insight. A wisdom God has given you.

There are women who want to know you! Beautiful simple, complicated, loud, quiet, you!

The beauty God has placed inside of you is not meant to stay within you sister. We were made for one another!

After you have prayed. Begin to dream with God. This part is my favorite.

I don’t always get it right, and sometimes it doesn’t look at all like what I thought it would, but what matters is that I am opening up my home to the people He is bringing.

The practical steps:

Always begin with prayer.

Seeking God. Asking Him to guide and lead you. To bring peace into your mind.

Especially if you’re feeling nervous or unsure about having people over.

When working with a small budget I want to give you simple and practical ideas.

Preparing sandwiches can be super easy and an inexpensive meal.

This week I had a dear friend over. I had pb&j prepared for us to enjoy!

I happened to have fresh baked cookies too.

Get excited, start planning the menu!

Simple food ideas below:

Simple snack ideas:

I love charcuterie boards. They are so fun and always feel like such a party all on their own.

When hosting remember this, It doesn’t have to be expensive. Just loving intentionality is all that it takes.

yessi argabright, gather your sisters

Sometimes I just stack the cutie oranges on a cutting board or basket, friends can enjoy as they would like.

Apple slices

A block of cheese cut into small bite sizes

Rolls of ham with cream cheese

Tortilla chips with salsa

Quesadillas

A bowl of grapes.

Chicken and Rice bowls. For our last two supper clubs I’ve made rice and have asked the ladies to bring their favorite foods to share.

This last month I asked one of my dear friends to prepare the main meat. I was completely wiped.

This took courage for me to ask and also the reminder that it’s okay for me to let go of my own ideas of what the “perfect host” looks like.

It is for my humility, all of our good. Allowing my friends to come alongside me has been a sweet gift.

Once again saying, “I don’t have it all together, I will open up my doors, you are welcome here”.

More yummy ideas:

A homemade or frozen pizza. I’ll share with y’all my most favorite sourdough pizza here. It’s a crowd pleaser for sure, and very inexpensive to make.

BetterGoods makes really yummy fancy pizza’s too, takes less than 15 minutes to heat up in your oven.

Little Ceasers is our favorite fast, inexpensive pizza.

Pancakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Yes!

My dear friend Carol makes the yummiest fruit salad. The last time we enjoyed it in her home she literally just cut up fruit and didn’t add the creamy mixture and my girls devoured it all the same.

It was my daughter Willow who very first mentioned I should make fruit salad.

I thought where on earth did she hear this, I’ve never made this before. “We had it at Mrs. Carols”, it made such an impact on her.

(Apples, grapes, oranges, strawberries, bananas, blueberries), whatever fruits you have on hand. So simple.

*If you’ve already spend your budget for the week but still want to have friends over and wonder what you could feed them, ask your friends to bring their favorite snack to share.

This will require courage if you are of the belief that the host must provide all of the food.

I am Mexican. I grew up believing you always bring food with you. Everywhere you go, you bring food. You never enter a person’s home without bringing food to share.

While this is still true of the way I live, there have been times I couldn’t or didn’t, and The Lord used these moments to bring me into freedom.

Replacing my own limiting beliefs about what a good host looks like with His truth.

Mainly an open heart is what is most important. A desire to serve and love the people He is bringing into our homes.

This is the heart of hospitality.

More snack ideas:

Street corn and chips

Nachos, these are so easy to make, preheat oven to 350, add avocado oil to cookie sheet, spread tortilla chips on the cookie sheet, add shredded chicken, or beef, lots of cheese and voila, place in the oven for about 5 minutes until the cheese is melted and enjoy! (Pro tip: use block cheese, it melts so much easier and its less expensive.)

Taco Salad is delicious. When I am finished with this recipe I will link it here for you, with a homemade Catalina sauce too!

Drinks:

Water

Iced- Tea. We purchase the great value tea bags and brew our own. It’s about $4 for a large pack that last our family for several weeks. We add about a cup of sugar to our large pitcher, mix, refrigerate and enjoy!

I have a delicious Lavender lemonade I love to make for my friends, as well as a strawberry lemonade that is so yummy. I share the video here.

Cherry Lemonade:

1 Pitcher, 3-4 lemons, 1 TBS of Cherry juice, 1/4 of a cup of sugar, fill pitcher with water, stir, refrigerate and enjoy!

Sister, know that I am cheering you on! I know there are seasons in our lives where we would rather not invite people over, but if you feel like The Lord is saying, “It’s time, open up your doors!” Please do it!

In the works is a post on becoming the friend you wish you had! Even just this sentence I pray is transformational for you.

As you lean into God and ask Him to make you the friend you needed.

Who can you invite over this week, this month? Has someone been on your heart to invite over? Know that I am praying for Gods courage to infuse you.

You might just be the answer to someone’s prayer! Imagine this, The Lord inviting you to co-labor with Him.

For our good!

Sit with The Lord ask Him to give you the courage it’s going to require for you to open up your home and then follow through in obedience. 

If this post has blessed you, would you bless my heart and let me know in the comments.

I want to share with you this sweet printable to help you on your journey of opening your home.

Would you share it with your people? Thank you so much for all of your love and support. It means so much that you come back and read week after week, thank you!

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